These small hours....

   

   I woke up at my usual time this morning...3:30am...I just cannot seem to sleep past that time...I got out of bed and as I normally do, went and washed my face, brushed my teeth, made my coffee, and jumped on the computer...I put on a lovely Lakshmi mantra and stuck my headphones on, closed my eyes and just let myself become absorbed in the sound. Usually when I do this I am quickly filled with such peace and tranquility...a sort of bliss so to speak...

    Well...this morning, that just did not happen...I found myself engulfed with a deep sadness. I am not quite sure why but instead of trying to analyze my feelings and over think things as I normally would and assume there had to be some reason for my melancholy...I just let those dark feelings overtake me...What I found rather surprising, is I began to feel a sort of comfort in this sadness. At first I tried to resist this inner turmoil, to somehow make it go away, but it just did not want to budge....so I just 'let go' and let it sweep me up... I just went with the emotions...and I began to cry.

    Now some of you may find this strange...to just feel sad or cry for no reason at all, but honestly, there was some sort of liberation in this act of 'letting go', for me...I cannot quite explain it. With each tear I shed, I felt a deep longing comfort that all was right in the world. That, just as the peace and tranquility I feel so often is good for my soul...so is this deep sadness. It was like an epiphany for me to realize this! Maybe this was just a little of that Self-Realization I have been seeking as of late. Maybe we spend so much time trying to make sense of our feelings that we never stop and just Be... and in this Being...is when we find the most Clarity...So in these small hours....Learn to just 'let it go' and Be:-)

Om Shanti!
Jennifer Renee