This morning I had one of my many moments of clarity and I thought I might try to convey it to you in a way that you can best understand my thoughts. I was thinking about how human beings have the need to submit to the desires of the flesh, whether they be sex or alcohol or any other addictive behavior. I once read somewhere that every extreme behavior is just a manifestation of the soul trying to find its way back to Source/God/Goddess/Universe/Love. The mind is incapable of understanding what we truly are beyond the body and senses; this is why the mind must be surpassed to find our true essence. The mind/ego likes to act out in its never-ending thirst for thrills.
Everything we engage in, even the most extreme unhealthy behavior is a part of our spiritual evolution, whether we are aware of it or not. When we indulge in unhealthy activities, the mind/ego is appeased for a short time, until the longing comes back and we continue to indulge due to the impossibility of permanent satisfaction. We will never find satisfaction in the behavior, and we mistake submission for surrender. Submitting is giving in to the desire and allowing the desire to take control of the body. Surrendering is letting go of the control of the mind/ego to make decisions for us and letting the intuitive heart guide our actions.
Once we become aware of what is controlling us and accept responsibility for our actions we are then in a place of real spiritual growth. Just the mere self-confession is a step forward on the path of surrendering. We can then see more clearly that everything is Shiva/God nature, including the dark and lustful passions within us. In the past, I would beat myself up for the less savory tendencies that would consume me at times, pushing them further into my psyche, repressing them for a time, until the desire became so great that I would submit to the will of the mind/ego. This would happen over and over again.
I can’t say that I have already learned to surrender completely. I would be lying to myself if I did. Surrendering to Love is no easy process. As flowery as that might sound, surrendering to Love is just another way of surrendering to the Source. The mind/ego will keep us in a constant loop until we eventually stop submitting to its will. Knowing this now, I have developed a much deeper compassion for the addictive behavior in myself and others. I am less critical of others now and have learned that part of surrendering is not just loving others, but most of all loving myself just as I am, addictions and all.
Om, Aham prema...