Bija Mantras (Hrim)

     

     After Om and Aim, Hrim (pronounced 'hreem') is probably the most commonly used bija mantra. It is composed of the sound-Ha, which indicates prana, space and light, with the sound-Ra, which indicates fire, light and dharma, and the sound-I, which indicates energy, focus and motivation.

     Hrim is the prime mantra of the Goddess in all of her three main powers of creation, preservation and destruction, and so is the main Shakti mantra, with a more specific application than Aim. It is said to be the Shakti bija and to be equivalent to Om for the Goddess. More specifically, it relates to Parvati or Shakti, the consort of Shiva, who is the destroyer/transformer among the trinity of deities.

     Hrim is a mantra of magical force, captivation and empowerment. It can be used relative to any deity or object whose presence we wish to access at the level of the heart. It brings about joy, ecstasy and bliss. Hrim both purifies and exalts us in our inner quest, humbling us before the Divine power so that it can enter into our hearts.

     Hrim is a specific mantra for the heart (hridaya in Sanskrit) on all levels, whether the spiritual heart, the heart chakra, the emotional heart or the heart as a physical organ. It energizes the heart, provides warmth, and allows for both deep feeling and deep thought.

     In terms of Ayurveda, Hrim can be used to counter heart disease of all types, aiding in longevity and rejuvenation. More specifically, it helps promote the pranic and functional aspects of the heart with it the power of circulation of the blood, the lungs and the nervous system. It has generally Pitta (fiery) energy but some Vata (air) energy as well, stimulating the higher pranas and emotions. In terms of Vedic astrology, Hrim relates to the Sun, the planet of the heart, and helps promote solar energy, expression and charisma.

     Hrim is usually a soft mantra but can also be harsh. As a soft mantra, it increases the finer energies of the heart. As a harsh mantra, it can be used to hypnotize or captivate, to dissolve or carry away.



~Dr. David Frawley
Mantra Yoga and Primal Sound
(Secrets of Seed Bija Mantras)

Checking in....

O Divine Mother, I Am Thine,

For Thou Art Eternally Mine

     I lay garlands of my devotion, strung with many-hued flowers 

of lofty inspiration, at Thy lotus feet.

     I beheld Thee dancing in the twinkling stars. I glimpsed Thy

scintillating magic in the aurora borealis. I heard the dance of

Thy beating feet in crashing ocean waves as they rushed toward

earth's shores. I marveled at Thy leaps and pirouettes portraying,

on the great stage of time, evolution's fantastic upward sweep. And

I thrill to see, everywhere, excitement and activity in Thy great

drama of all life.

     Alas, Divine Mother! I have yet to behold Thy bliss-faced

 peeping from behind what I now know to be only veils! The thick

clouds of outward appearances are offset by little, teasing hints of

Thy smile, reflected in my breeze-rippled, flickering thoughts.

     How long I have yearned to behold Thee! My yearning burns

with a million tongues of flame. They leap high, and light the vast

firmament of my consciousness. The force that holds together the 

planets binds together also into a heavy ball the burden of my 

self-recognition, holding me to earth. Yet the twinkling stars of my

soul-aspiration spin high overhead, and form a mighty whirlwind

which draws me upward. Their light beams down upon me, 

banishing my shadows of ignorance and dissolving, one by one, all

the crusted limitations that cover my soul. Light transforms the gray

pebbles of my desires into shining crystals reflecting Thy joy.

     By my light of concentrated aspiration, all falseness has been

consumed. Ah, but, Divine Mother, where art Thou? A great void

around me mocked my very yearning.

     "Why?" I asked. And my tears fell--dewdrops of shining light 

from my firmament above. Then at last Thy sweet voice came, 

tender with compassion; I heard Thee say: "Thy very light by which

thou seekest Me is, already, Myself! Thou hast sought Me else-

where than in thyself; yet I am thou! Thou art I! There can never

be aught but thine own Self. I come to thee through thyself.

Worship me as separate, if you like, but know who I am: thy very

own Self! O eternally beloved child, we are one!"

     Mother, how can I thank Thee! I will ever be Thine, for Thou

art eternally mine. Still, I love to behold Thee through my window

of self-understanding as if dancing outside me also; to see Thee

smiling with tantalizing sweetness! Yet I know the dance takes 

place, in truth, only here in my heart. 

~Paramahansa Yogananda


    So sorry I have not been around these last few months. Family concerns and various health issues and, well, life in general has keep me very busy as of late. I hope to be blogging more often as I miss it greatly:) I hope all is well for my fellow kindred spirits out there. Goddess Bless Always!

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

Surrendering vs. Submitting

This morning I had one of my many moments of clarity and I thought I might try to convey it to you in a way that you can best understand my thoughts. I was thinking about how human beings have the need to submit to the desires of the flesh, whether they be sex or alcohol or any other addictive behavior. I once read somewhere that every extreme behavior is just a manifestation of the soul trying to find its way back to Source/God/Goddess/Universe/Love. The mind is incapable of understanding what we truly are beyond the body and senses; this is why the mind must be surpassed to find our true essence. The mind/ego likes to act out in its never-ending thirst for thrills.

Everything we engage in, even the most extreme unhealthy behavior is a part of our spiritual evolution, whether we are aware of it or not. When we indulge in unhealthy activities, the mind/ego is appeased for a short time, until the longing comes back and we continue to indulge due to the impossibility of permanent satisfaction. We will never find satisfaction in the behavior, and we mistake submission for surrender. Submitting is giving in to the desire and allowing the desire to take control of the body. Surrendering is letting go of the control of the mind/ego to make decisions for us and letting the intuitive heart guide our actions.

Once we become aware of what is controlling us and accept responsibility for our actions we are then in a place of real spiritual growth. Just the mere self-confession is a step forward on the path of surrendering. We can then see more clearly that everything is Shiva/God nature, including the dark and lustful passions within us. In the past, I would beat myself up for the less savory tendencies that would consume me at times, pushing them further into my psyche, repressing them for a time, until the desire became so great that I would submit to the will of the mind/ego. This would happen over and over again.

I can’t say that I have already learned to surrender completely. I would be lying to myself if I did. Surrendering to Love is no easy process. As flowery as that might sound, surrendering to Love is just another way of surrendering to the Source. The mind/ego will keep us in a constant loop until we eventually stop submitting to its will. Knowing this now, I have developed a much deeper compassion for the addictive behavior in myself and others. I am less critical of others now and have learned that part of surrendering is not just loving others, but most of all loving myself just as I am, addictions and all.

Om, Aham prema...

Nirvani

Connectedness...

Good Morning!

       A few days ago I began a sadhana on the beach. I needed some inspiration not only for meditation but as a poetess as well. Each day for the next week I will spend an hour in the morning sitting on the beach meditating and contemplating. Of course I will have pencil and paper in hand to jot down any inspiring thoughts that should come my way. Yesterday after my return home this little piece of brevity came to me. 

  

      While meditating, I became aware of how the waves rolling up on the shore and then back out to sea 

sounded much like our breath while inhaling and exhaling. As I sat with my eyes closed noticing how my breath rolled back and forth in time with the waves, I also became acutely aware of the silence in between each crash of wave. For just a hair's breath did it occur and yet I was drawn to it. At the onset of meditation I was keenly aware of not only the waves but the sounds of laughter from nearby children playing in the water, an airplane preparing for departure off in the distance and the sound of birds. At first these sounds seemed separate and distinct, but after a while it was as if they were happening inside me, or me inside them. As if I had become one with the sound and I was no longer just me, but I was the wave, the children.

     “Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but must always participate in the swell of the ocean, so we can never experience life by ourselves, but must always share the experience of life that takes place all around us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

 This experience showed me, on a deeper level, how truly connected we are with everything around us.

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

My Journey into Hinduism

   

 For several years now I have identified myself as a believer in Sanatan Dharma. Sometimes I feel comfortable referring to myself as a Hindu, and yet other times I feel quite uncomfortable. I'll explain why shortly. Embracing the Hindu philosophy has been quite simple for me really. The moment I began reading The Upanishads something awoke inside of me. I had this incredible moment, or moments I should say, of absolute clarity that what I was reading was truth, and it made complete sense. I was giddy with excitement about it for days. I read The Upanishads every night to my husband before bed. I'll always cherish those first moments of discovery with him.
   
      As any convert to a new religion knows, I was quite overwhelmed in the beginning. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding Hinduism. My mind was flooded with the immense history and rich culture that comprises the oldest religion in the world. There were many times when I thought to myself, 'What are you doing? This is madness, you are not from India, you have nothing in common with this religion and these people!' I would put my books away for a while and go about my daily life pretending that I was not seeking anything, that I was content with my life the way it was. This would only last maybe a week or two at a time until I was once again drawn back to my spiritual seeking.

    I grew up from childhood until I was the age of 40 as a Latter Day Saint, or Mormon. My religious upbringing has had a great deal of influence on the spiritually inclined woman I am today and I am very grateful for that. Leaving the Mormon religion was not easy for me. I had grown to be quite devout and unquestioning of my faith. But over the years I had become increasingly dissatisfied with it and the self-guilt was at times unbearable. My husband, who was himself a convert to Mormonism, had already lost faith in the church philosophy long before we left, he chose not to tell me his true feelings about it as he did not want to let me down. This is all I will say about our departure from the Mormon religion since I want to focus my thoughts here on my views as a Western convert to Hinduism.

    The reason I have struggled with calling myself a Hindu is the mere fact of not quite knowing where I fit into the Hindu structure. I have never been through a formal conversion and embarrassingly enough have only attended one temple in all this time I have been studying. I live in Hawaii and the only temple that I know of on Oahu is an ISKCON temple. My husband and I had a lovely visit there, but I have not returned. Mainly, because I do not identify myself as Vaishnav. I know that there is a great deal of controversy around the ISKCON movement. Having looked into this particular sect of Hinduism, it just did not resonate with me.

    Over the years I continued to read and study. I began a meditation practice that included japa mantra. I found I enjoyed chanting immensely. Oftentimes I would come away from my practice with intense feelings of bliss that would last for several days. Although I had fully accepted Hindu philosophy, I still was unsure of what sect I should follow and would never quite commit myself to any one sect in particular. I was very drawn toward the teachings of Spiritual Masters such as Paramahansa Yogananda and Vivekananda. I think mainly for the reason that both of these men had come to the West and were adept in teaching Westerners. I felt comfortable with them as a Westerner. I have studied the full works of both of these men and love them deeply.

      Over the last year in particular, I have begun to finally narrow down my own spiritual path in Hinduism. I feel a great pull toward the Divine Feminine aspect of God. This may very well be because of having been raised in a deeply patriarchal spiritual community and culture. It has been so refreshing for me to see God as the mother aspect, such as Maa Durga and Maa Kali. Although it was strange at first, it now feels so right. Through some very unusual, rather synchronistic events over the last year I have been lead to study the teachings of Kashmiri Shaivism and it resonates with me deeply. I have decided to focus my worship on this particular sect of Hinduism.

     I am a Hindu-by-choice. I like that term. If you think of the countless people born and raised in a given religion, many of them practice half-heartedly or not at all by the time they are adults. People who seek and embrace a spiritual path on their own tend to be very devout in their practice. When something is just given to you you tend to take it for granted, but when you earn it on your own with much effort it tends to be very precious to you. I am fully convinced that I was led to the dharma. It found me. The Universe willed it. I like to think that I procured some pretty good karma to have been led to this path. I could not turn my back on it now if I tried, it would haunt me forever. I now do not see Sanatan Dharma as a particular culture or birthright. It is for all humankind. For a while I thought it was necessary for me to embrace another culture to be called Hindu, but now I know that that is wrong. I can be who I am, love my own heritage and still be a Hindu in my heart.

    I am still fine tuning my own ritual practice. I may not be following every ritual custom perfectly, but I am working on it. I study voraciously and plan to attend the Hindu Monastery Himalayan Academy on Kauai within the next year and hope to call this my home temple. I am also studying Ayurvedic medicine, while working to incorporate it into my lifestyle. I practice vegetarianism. The day I found Hinduism, was the day I opened a Pandora's Box. Life has never been the same for me. I feel in my heart that I am on a spiritual journey back home and it is only through the dharmic path of yoga that I will get there. I have had very little face to face contact with other Hindus and I greatly look forward to the day that I will have that opportunity. For the time being, I rely greatly on my online Hindu family. I have met some amazing Hindus from around the world. I hope one day to be able to travel to India, and experience that magical land. I owe so much to the great sages who have left a wealth of sacred writings for us in the modern age.

My heart belongs to Shiva,

Om Shanti,
Nirvani

   

    

Shiva's Wild Woman

(artwork: Roger Williamson Art)

Shiva's Wild Woman

I am femininity embodied,

Deity made flesh, perfection

Embedded in flaw.

Un-submissive feminist,

Freedom-fighting,

Barefoot mama on a mission

To strengthen the sisterhood of souls.

The androgynous love, pouring

From my cosmic yoni

Paints the world in supernatural perceptions.

To one I am femme fatale,

Dangerously sacrilegious, ego-stripping

Mata Hari-esque.

To another, the primordial paradox,

The unsolvable puzzle. 

To my Self, the constant

Creator and destroyer

Dancing my way 

Through the universe.

Some call me 

Shiva's wild woman.

Nirvani Teasley, 2013

http://thecosmicpoet.com/

Sexual Energy is Sacred

"To act upon the whim of every thought or belief that comes to our minds, is not really the healthiest approach. People need to ask more questions if they are confused about something - even if they are sure of something they should ask too, especially if there isn’t any real proof to back it up. To take down the dark forces of the artificial matrix - we have to keep our consciousness above it, while also being willing to be pro-active in creating change on the physical level. This is an individual and personal calling and sometimes it just means mastering the world of lower forces by not being a product of their influence. 

 Psychic abilities and intuition take humility and openness with neutrality, so the minute the Ego gets involved or the emotional body and its triggers - it can keep us from the clear seeing and throw us into negative reaction. This is about Unity Consciousness and being our own personal detectives when it comes to how we sort out information, while also being willing to go on a deep inner voyage to be sure that the body, mind and spirit are all working together in harmony and that union within is achieved. This allows the clarity we long for and discernment with wisdom, which keeps us from getting stuck in projections or assumptions. Once we feel we got a grip on it, then react - but not in fear, in empowerment and recognition of our divine power to change the game. Get out of the gossip and hype whether its positive or negative and get into the TRUTH, by finding it on your own terms, with integrity. 

Sexual energy is Sacred, and it is not treated as such in our culture and this is a deep programing that doesn’t serve anyone or anything. It gets further exacerbated by new age deceptions. To allow it to lure a person in based on it triggering a lower chakra, rather than it being based on the heart or soul connection, is a form of energy vampirism and manipulation, which even if consensual, is destructive. It is encouraged in our society so it takes a lot for many to really see through it and how damaging it is for the collective and our own Awakening and soul evolution. It feeds dark occult technologies that are trying to use our vital spiritual essence against us, which connects to our kundalini and how we use this power. If we don’t allow it to flow and be guided by our higher self, it becomes thwarted and activates the lower reptilian energy that is all about conquest, domination, seduction, addiction and lower based pleasure. 

It is a free-will Universe, so do what you will, but pay attention, because this same force that we all have, has the power to transform the World and shouldn’t be blocked by the conditioning’s and social engineering of this system we live in, that doesn’t care about Mother Earth, or God/ess Sacred Union… When we connect to this raw power without interference, we become the divine embodiment of our true self. The dark forces of deception with all of its hooks that prey upon the lost, wants to step in to be the ultimate power, using all it can to break us down to the lesser self who thinks only in terms of instant gratification and Ego power. We are much better than that!"

Author Unknown

I cannot take credit for this piece and am not sure who wrote it, but came across it on Tumblr and thought it was well worth sharing. I have seen in various places on the internet and off so many young and older people alike who are in a desperate search for something. Most are oblivious to what it is that they are seeking, the soul is ALWAYS striving to find its way back to Source. The ego is tangled up in the many SAMSKARAS (life forces) that bind us from life to life, until we can untangle ourselves from them we will not be truly free. Many of these 'life forces' tend to keep us stuck in the lower chakras, most especially the Sacrel Chakra or sex chakra, not allowing us to experience the SATCHITANANDA (being, consciousness, bliss) which is the utimate destination of the soul. We become absorbed in body pleasure, which can essentially bind us. Working to 'unstick' the chakras takes a great amount of self-discipline, surrendering ego and channeling the energies of these samskaras into more healthy and productive outlets. Remember, the ego is out for its own gain, at the expense of the body and soul.

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Ganesh for my New Car!

  Upon my return from a trip to visit family in Washington State, my dear husband surprised me with a new red hot Kia Soul. I was so thrilled to finally get my own car and as a christening gift for the car he ordered me this beautiful handmade Ganesh to hang over my rear view mirror. It was made by my friend Amanda, originally meant to be a necklace, but the minute I saw it I knew it was meant for my car. I invoke Ganesha whenever I travel for safety and to remove all obstacles that keep me from the Beloved! I am most blessed!

Om Gam!

Nirvani

Being Hindu is to stop being fanatical....

Being Hindu is to stop being fanatical…it is being cosmopolitical

Advaita Vedanta of Sri Shankaracharya ( circa 780 AD – 820 AD), Shaivism with its many branches,Vaishnavite systems with their deism, the Tantric system with its own inner esoteric logic, the neo-Vedanta of the Ramakrishna Order and the lived daily lives of countless wo/men with their sacred rituals have come to mean for us Hinduism. Some of us live by the philosophy of Sri Ramanujacharya (circa 1017 AD – 1137 AD); some of us try to integrate within us the teachings of Patanjali (circa 2nd BC) while again some among us would want to live by the dictum of Sage Vashishtha. We are a Faith community which has no one language; our practitioners may appear unrecognizable to each other, leave alone to the devotees of other religions. We have no one book to live by; we accept no one centralized source of doctrines. In truth, we have only our own inner loci of control to lead us to God. Our concept of the universe has been mistakenly confused with the philosophy of pandeism (sic). In fact, we are a community evolving with the times. Our concept of dharma does not mean only a specific cognitive space or an area of discourse which separates our lives into little-boxes and relegates the idea of the holy to the realm of what is commonly understood by spirituality. Our religion is a lived religion which sees natural ambition for earning wealth, having sex within marriage, and having fulfilling careers to be integral to self-actualization. Thus, Hinduism is a religion which is eminently practical and does not concern itself too much with the life to come. It is enough to enjoy and live this present life to the full. It is only within Hinduism will one find an equal stature being given to the householder and the renunciate. Both can and do attain God. In all other religions of the world, the renunciate is compulsorily seen as superior to the layperson. In all probability the apaurusheya Upanishads and the Vedas relate the lived-experience of non-celibate happily wedded seers, both women and men. Those who seek Hinduism for magic, for personal peace, for some sort of harmony and certainty, seek in vain. Their quest is misplaced. Hindus know that to be spiritual is to be uncertain, to desire holiness often immature, to seek magic and miracles may be non-scientific and betray a need to find quick-fix solutions to real problems which need long working out. To seek peace in a world torn by strife is foolishness and moreover, selfish. How can a spiritual person seek inaction and solipsism when countless around her or him are illiterate, hungry and live with no proper sanitation? Hinduism rejects these desires as been unworthy of the human being. This world is not meant to be a seclusion: it is meant to be one of action, and relentless self-appraisal: am I fighting the good fight? Am I living my swadharma?

(Read the rest of the editorial here : Lectio Divina )


This was a very eye-opening article and I feel that it has much merit, at least for me. Would love to know any thoughts on it!

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

Sri Maa

The whole and part together make up real Perfection. 

~ Sri Anandamayi Ma

Am I Love?

Do I feel deeply a sincere love for all beings around me,
or am I making some kind of drama of love to confuse others? 
Do I live the life of actual love or do I make a show of love
and use the word love like a professional, an expert, to win the                      friendship and favor of others?
Do I have love or am I love?
Am I alive or am I life?
Am I conscious or am I consciousness?
Am I blissful or am I bliss?
Am I searching for ultimate reality or am I ultimate reality?

Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati


I was listening to a podcast this morning from Manorama, who teaches Sanskrit and Yoga Studies and she spoke these words from her Guruji and it struck me with great force. I wrote them down and read them over and over again. I actually felt overwhelmed by tears. Frankly, these are questions I had not directly thought of and applied to my life. I have decided to make these words my motto for the 2013 year and will place them where I can see them  and will ask myself these questions every day of this year. These are questions that we should all ponder and reflect upon as we meditate each day. It is not enough to speak of love, we must be love....I know very few human beings in my life who actually live as if they are love itself, including myself. This is my New Year's resolution, to strive everyday to become Love, what I am.

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

Words from Mundaka Upanishad

"As from a blazing fire, thousands of sparks of fire fly out, so these various beings you see in the world all spring forth from Brahman and go back to Him again. Pure, higher than the highest, He has no body, no breath, no mind; He is inside and outside everything. Yet, from Brahman have come your life, your mind, eyes, ears, hands, feet, space and air, light and water, and the very earth itself. It is He who binds all these together.
About Him, they recite this poem:

'Fire is His head, His eyes are the sun and moon;
His ears, the directions -- north, south, east and west;
His breath is the wind, the Vedas his voice;
Under his feet the earth has sprung up,
And all things know Him as their innermost Self.'

"The man who knows this secret, hidden in the cave of the heart, breaks open, here and now, the knot of ignorance.

Mind, sharpened by worship and meditation, will be the arrow. Fixing it on the bow, with full concentration, draw back and hit the target, the Indestructible Brahman. There is a sacred word -- OM -- which is the bow; your own self is the arrow and Brahman is the target. Without trembling, hit the mark, and like the arrow, lose yourself in It! Then all the knots of the heart are broken, all doubts disappear and all actions trail away when He is realized, who is the farthest away of the far away, the nearest of the near, the light of lights."

Mundaka Upanishad

(Shared from one of my favorite facebook pages: Veda Knowledge)

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Vedic Wisdom

EESHE HI SHAKRAH (SAMA VEDA; Verse 66)

A man of self-control becomes the master.

Explanation: The person who has his senses under control is capable of accomplishing unimaginable feats. One, who has mastered himself, can have the world under his control. Nothing is impossible for such a man. A man of self-control has all his energy focused just as the scattered sunrays passing through a magnifying glass turn into a single ray. Therefore every individual should strive to develop self-control so that his energy gets channelized, mind focused and his capabilities naturally gets improved significantly.

(Source: https://www.facebook.com/Veda.knowledge)

Learn Ganesha Mantra....

     I came across this fantastic video that actually teaches the correct way to chant the Ganesha mantra and what prasada may be given to Lord Ganapati as an offering. I think the most apparent mistake many people, especially Westerners, make in  mantra yoga is incorrect pronunciation. It has been incredibly helpful to me to listen to mantras repeatedly to learn to pronounce every Sanskrit syllable correctly. The mantra cannot be spiritually energized if chanted incorrectly and some mantras I hear can actually have adverse effects upon one's person, so please take sufficient time and care in learning not just the mantra itself, but also the meaning. There is much more to be gained when we treat every Sanskrit mantra with the deepest reverence.


Om Gam!
Nirvani

The Womb of the Universe

My Mother,

Immeasurable,

Auspicious doorway,

Clothed in space,

Dressed in emptiness

Adorned only by vastness

The naked moment,

Birthing in every second renewed and continual

You create our worlds, for pleasure, play, and our learning

You measure all worlds, you measure us into existence

You birth all worlds, you birth us

You nurse all worlds, you nurse us

You grow all worlds, you grow us

You dissolve all worlds, you are the end of us as we know ourselves

You mature all worlds, you are our maturing

You are our supporter, mother of the universe

Cause of bliss,

Golden

Destroyer of misery and poverty,

Bestower of eloquence, the power of speech

The virtuous bestower of magnificent desires

The rider of time, the dissolver of time, the creator of time

Slayer, mother, and nurse

Servant and sovereign 

Authority and student

Worshipped and the worshipper

 You live in the act in between

The play, player, played, and the playing

The magic of nothing within the loving field of everything

The power of Women

Supreme and subservient

Dancing life into being

Serving and being served

The power that is unstoppable

Drunk on bliss

Wielding the cleaver that separates false from true

Untouched, unattached, by passion, yet the heart of passion itself

The red flow, death of the ego

Creator of fear, laughing loudly at its play

The luminous beauty of the eyes that see so clearly

Rolling with love piercing with gratitude

Flashing

Yet demure, deep, and enticing

In the softness of the lotus heart 

Adorned with rubies glowing

Your form is the night of time

Eternal night, eternal rest

A bed where all identities come to dissipate

You are the authentic sound of Being

Creation resounding resonating

Rumbling through awareness

The hum in the back of our thoughts

The hum in the background of our feelings

The hum as our bodies unite

Dominate in bed

Tiger footed in movement

Sure and agile

Graceful and serene

Hair wild and free flowing in all directions

You ride creation into being

As the power of time

You devour us, your children

As the power of time

You stand astride, resplendent upon the corpse of this universe

When we are born you are there

When we die you are there also

Eternally the same in the intensity of being

All our acts, all our fruits, come back to you Mother

Everything returns back to you

It is only our arrogance that stops us seeing the truth as it is

All that is limited fears that beyond its limits

You as the creator of time, stand beyond time, beyond limits

One who is beyond all fear can protect us all from fear

As long as we identify with anything there is fear

This is why you are clothed in space

The dissolving of all fear into freedom

Based on the 108 Names of Kali

(Womb Wisdom: Padma and Anaiya Aon Prakasha)

White Hindu Converts: Mimicry or Mockery? (Article)

  White Hindu Converts: Mimicry or Mockery?

 Here is an article published in the Huffington Post regarding White Westerners converting to Hinduism and mimicking  the stereotypical or 'imagined' archetype of Indian Hindu culture. I will say for myself, that first off I did not just choose to embrace Hinduism...it chose me. Why should I go against what I feel in my heart and soul is my Dharma. It has nothing to do with my culture or the Indian culture. I believe very deeply in the philosophy of Sanatana Dharma, Vedanta to be precise. Should I call myself a Hindu? I doubt myself every day. I ask myself all the time if I am somehow just pretending, but then I read Hindu scripture or words from Hindu gurus and it dissolves my doubts for a time. I do not question the philosophy, what I question is do I belong in the Hindu culture. I know in India Hinduism pervades ever aspect of life both religious and secular...where in the United States religion is thought of as aside from secular life.
      I would in no way mock Hinduism...at least not intentionally and it troubles me to think that Hindus would even think that of me. Yes I would like to fit in with them, but I do not feel the need to do it just to claim that I am a Hindu. My spirituality is very personal to me and no one...absolutely no one can take that from me. I still embrace my own culture, and am working to integrate parts of my new Hindu beliefs into my own culture at home. I am always looking to those born into Hinduism for guidance. Those I have met online have been very welcoming and honestly quite loving...they have no idea how grateful I am for that.
     I feel as if I am part of something bigger in respect to being one of the few Western Hindus out there, and with that I feel a great responsibility in living a Hindu life that bares integrity and genuineness. I know I have a good following of Hindus out of India here on my blog and am always open to discussion...and would love to hear from many of you and what your thoughts may be on this matter. I look at each of you as my brother and sister in Dharma.
      If Vedanta was not meant to be spread throughout the world then great men like Swami Vivekananda and Paramahansa Yogananda would never have brought it to the West. Hinduism culturally may not be for everyone, but who holds claim to Vedanta? It is what every human being is...it is our birthright.

Tat Tvam Asi,
Nirvani

Happy Diwali!

    Aloha my fellow kindred spirits!

      May you all be blessed with joy and prosperity in this Hindu New Year. I hope that you are all with me in striving to be just a little more kinder, a little more loving and tolerant, a little more aware of our own Divine Nature. May we see that very Nature within our fellow brothers and sisters on this planet. May we let our lights so shine from within that it may dispel darkness even in just one soul! We can make a difference if we are willing to surrender our selves to what is known as our 'Higher Self''. I hope that you will join me in lighting candles as a gesture of Good Will to all those struggling at this time, that their burdens may be lightened and that peace may reign in their homes. 

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti,
Nirvani

Finding my Dharmic Path....

(Artist Unknow)

  I embraced Sanatana Dharma nearly two years ago, and I will not say it has been an easy road. For those of you who do not know I am a former member of the Mormon church. In the eyes of the Mormon church I am still a member as I have not had my name removed from the records of the church...I grew up as a very devout Mormon, whereas my husband was a convert. We raised our children as Mormons. The church played front and center in our lives for many years. If I were to say that my Mormon faith defined me as a person, I would not be exaggerating. My husband and I both left the church nearly three years ago. The first year after leaving the church was excruciating to say the least. I had essentially lost my identity as I had always known it. You may wonder why I left in the first place if it played such a big part in my life. I will explain this to the best of my ability, frankly it is more complex than even I realized at the time.
    For the last five years or so before leaving the church I had grown increasingly dissatisfied with my Mormon life. One thing I have never done or never will do is blame the church for my choice to leave...It was in the Mormon faith where I truly learned to love God and develop a deep spirituality. I also made lasting and loving friendships there. My children had good lives within the structure of the Mormon youth program. It was a good life, but over the years it felt more and more as if we were constantly trying to please the church and less and less on giving to our family. For anyone who knows about the Mormon faith, service is everything, service in the form of callings. These callings are considered to be direct calls from God so we were encouraged to accept them because we were doing what the Lord wanted us to do. There were times when these callings consumed every bit of our time and energy. My husband worked many hours and then gave what little time he had left to his callings. I will not speak for my husband here as this is my perspective.
      For some time I began to feel as if I were just going through the motions and with what was expected as a devout member I constantly felt that I was falling short and would put a tremendous amount of guilt on myself for this. Unlike my spiritual path now, Mormons are taught to essentially accept all of its doctrine and not question...Well they are told to pray about whether its doctrine is true, but if you did not get an answer in the affirmative you were just not praying long enough and if you did not feel that something was true you were not listening to the holy ghost/spirit. Just as in most orthodox religions, you are not suppose to question the authority of the church, as in its teachings, scripture or prophets. Some may call this blind faith, as in you are expected to believe without direct experience. The Mormon church does believe itself to be the one and only true Abrahamic faith on the earth. So it was expected of one to believe in every teaching, no matter how small. So I did what every other good Mormon did, I accepted all teachings as divine revelation directly from God.
     One Sunday I woke up and decided I would not attend church, and just like that I never went back. I struggled mightily for the first year. I felt such intense guilt that I thought God would strike me down or that terrible things would happen to me. The only terrible things to happen was of my own making, and yes I created a massive amount of pain and suffering in my life of which I will not get into here. God did not punish me in any way....But I sure did punish myself. After about a year I began to look into other religions and spiritual paths. When I left the church I had decided, as did my husband, that we would leave Christianity altogether. For those of you who do not believe that Mormons are Christians, Jesus Christ is the center pinnacle of the Mormon faith. We did all things in his name. He was my personal Savior as in my sins could not be forgiven but through him, if I were willing to repent.

(Picture of my Alter  early on....it is still a work in progress)

     I studied paganism for a while, but just could not relate with it. I looked at Buddism, but it felt so impersonal...then one day I began reading about Sanatana Dharma. At first I could not wrap my mind around the idea of reincarnation, as that went against anything I had ever been taught. Also my concept of God was of a loving Father in Heaven who was watching over me from above. I read more, but became overwhelmed with the Hindu teachings, so I put it aside for a while....but I would again find myself being pulled toward it. I would see Indian Hindus in town or would come across articles online about India and Hinduism. Once again I would find myself reading, with even more intensity than before. I felt so isolated in my studies as I did not know any Hindus or even how to go about meeting them, but this did not deter me. I continued reading, and I began to meditate and eventually created a sacred space in my home where I would go and do devotions. I seemed to be drawn to the aspect of the Divine Mother more than any other. I chalked this up to the fact that I grew up in a very patriarchal church where men essential did the majority of governing and my personal God was male. At first it was a bit unnerving to talk to Deity in the aspect of Mother, but with time it became quite natural...and now I just love talking to my Mother and giving devotions to her. It gives me this sense of empowerment as a woman myself to know that shakti is feminine in power and that I could tap into that.
     I cannot say I have exactly found my place in Sanatana Dharma as of yet. There are so many paths within  Hinduism and there is a wealth of scriptural texts in Sanskrit...and although most of the texts have been translated to English, it is not that simple to know who's translations are correct. There is no main authoritative center in Hinduism. There are countless Spiritual Masters, gurus and teachers. I have read and studies voraciously and have finally come to what I would say is my own personal belief. I wholeheartedly believe in the principles of Karma and Reincarnation. These concepts make absolute perfect sense to me. Although I do devote myself to the worship of the Divine Mother, I always include the masculine aspect of Divinity in my worship, mostly in the form of of Shiva. My logical mind and deepest intuition has led me to the path of Advaita Vedanta. It resonates with me more than any other thing I have every been taught in my life. I still as of yet have never been to any Hindu Temple other than the ISKCON temple once. For now I practice my path on my own. My family support me in my journey, most especially my dear husband. He is on his own spiritual journey and I try very hard to support him with that as well.
     I look forward to the day that I can attend a Hindu Temple and receive blessings there. I hope to one day actually make Hindu friends in person. This is not an easy path...Where Buddhism has become very popular in the West, Hinduism is still trying to take a hold. It can be very intimidating for a Westerner to attend a temple where they may be a total minority. I hope that I will be received with kindness. I have a profound respect for this faith and cannot imagine my life without it now...I am learning and growing in it every day and feel that I am truly following my Dharmic Path. Somehow I know that the Divine Mother is guiding me every step of the way. Tat Tvam Asi...I AM THAT.


Om Shanti Shanti Shanti,
Nirvani
     

I Am Here......

I Am Here

Alone I roamed by the ocean's shore,
And watched
     The wrestling waves in brawling roar--
Bounding with Thine own restless life.
I saw Thee in Thy angry mood, tossing and foaming
Until the very vastness of Thy wrath made me shiver
And turn away in dread from so much violence and strife.
And then I walked inland.
     A kindly, spreading, sentinel tree
Waved friendly arms to comfort me--
Consoling me with gentler look sublime,
Its leaves and branches swayed in tender lullaby-rhyme,
Conveying a message that I knew was Thine.
Above me, high
     I saw the gaugeless, mystic sky;
And, childlike, in dim valleys I sought to pry out
Thy secrets, and to play with Thee.
In vain, alas, did I seek Thee hiding there,
Cloud-robed, foam-sprayed, leaf-garlanded--
Too elusive for mortal eyes to see or ears to hear.
And yet,
     I knew that Thou wert always near,
As if playing hide-and-seek with me,
Receding each time when I almost touched Thee.
I groped for Thee in the maddeningly complex folds
Of dark ignorance--as old as time itself is old.
At last--
     I ceased my search, almost in despair:
What hope had I of finding Thee,
Thou Royal, Sly Eluder!
Thou art, I know, everywhere--
Yet Thou seemest nowhere: lost in unplumbed space,
Where none may clasp Thee or behold Thy face!
Yes, despairing,
     I ceased my fruitless search,
Turned huffily away from Thee:
My ploy was unsuccessful!
Still, still no answer from the wrathful sea,
And only whispers from the friendly tree;
Naught but silence from the limitless blue sky--
Silence from valleys low and mountains high!
Like a hurt child, within the depths of me
I hid and sulked--no longer seeking Thee.
And then, lo! suddenly:
     Unheralded, an Unseen Hand
Snatched from my eyes that all-black band
Which had blinded me so long with fold on fold.
No longer weary, but filled with strength untold,
I stood, and gazed again:
A laughing sea instead of wrathful roars!
A gay, glad world with mystically opening doors!
With only mists of dreams between,
Someone beside me stood unseen--
And whispered to me, calm and clear:
"Hello, playmate! I am here!"

Paramahansa Yogananda Whispers from Eternity


Jai Mata Di,
Nirvani

Bhagavad Gita for Daily Living....

      I've read the Bhagavad Gita several times from Eknath Easwaran's translation and commentary of the Gita. I was looking for a source for more in depth study of the Gita and ordered Paramahansa Yogananda's version a while back, which I must say is a magnificent work of commentary. Yogananda's version is a much more complex study and probably suited to the more adept in Hindu scripture. I recently came across Eknath Easwaran's version, which is a three volume study of the Bhagavad Gita for Daily Living and am so impressed with it that I use it daily. The commentary is a collection of lectures on each verse that was meticulously transcribed from his classes taught at Berkeley University. It is a wonderful work in study for all levels of Hindu scriptural learning. I highly recommend this addition  to anyone's spiritual library.
     

     
      Eknath Easwaran was a wonderful human being, who contributed vastly to the spiritual upliftment of many souls. He was extremely adept at bringing Eastern philosophy to the Western mind. We have received many great commentaries from past Self-realized Masters, but Eknath's unique perspective comes from  a devoted Householder. He was a loyal husband and father who contributed to the spiritual growth of mankind through academia. He was fiercely committed to the principles of meditation and yoga. His work is carried on still today by many who have been inspired by his simple and common sense approach to living the spiritual life in the modern world.


Jai Mata Di!
Nirvani