Surrendering vs. Submitting

This morning I had one of my many moments of clarity and I thought I might try to convey it to you in a way that you can best understand my thoughts. I was thinking about how human beings have the need to submit to the desires of the flesh, whether they be sex or alcohol or any other addictive behavior. I once read somewhere that every extreme behavior is just a manifestation of the soul trying to find its way back to Source/God/Goddess/Universe/Love. The mind is incapable of understanding what we truly are beyond the body and senses; this is why the mind must be surpassed to find our true essence. The mind/ego likes to act out in its never-ending thirst for thrills.

Everything we engage in, even the most extreme unhealthy behavior is a part of our spiritual evolution, whether we are aware of it or not. When we indulge in unhealthy activities, the mind/ego is appeased for a short time, until the longing comes back and we continue to indulge due to the impossibility of permanent satisfaction. We will never find satisfaction in the behavior, and we mistake submission for surrender. Submitting is giving in to the desire and allowing the desire to take control of the body. Surrendering is letting go of the control of the mind/ego to make decisions for us and letting the intuitive heart guide our actions.

Once we become aware of what is controlling us and accept responsibility for our actions we are then in a place of real spiritual growth. Just the mere self-confession is a step forward on the path of surrendering. We can then see more clearly that everything is Shiva/God nature, including the dark and lustful passions within us. In the past, I would beat myself up for the less savory tendencies that would consume me at times, pushing them further into my psyche, repressing them for a time, until the desire became so great that I would submit to the will of the mind/ego. This would happen over and over again.

I can’t say that I have already learned to surrender completely. I would be lying to myself if I did. Surrendering to Love is no easy process. As flowery as that might sound, surrendering to Love is just another way of surrendering to the Source. The mind/ego will keep us in a constant loop until we eventually stop submitting to its will. Knowing this now, I have developed a much deeper compassion for the addictive behavior in myself and others. I am less critical of others now and have learned that part of surrendering is not just loving others, but most of all loving myself just as I am, addictions and all.

Om, Aham prema...

Nirvani

Connectedness...

Good Morning!

       A few days ago I began a sadhana on the beach. I needed some inspiration not only for meditation but as a poetess as well. Each day for the next week I will spend an hour in the morning sitting on the beach meditating and contemplating. Of course I will have pencil and paper in hand to jot down any inspiring thoughts that should come my way. Yesterday after my return home this little piece of brevity came to me. 

  

      While meditating, I became aware of how the waves rolling up on the shore and then back out to sea 

sounded much like our breath while inhaling and exhaling. As I sat with my eyes closed noticing how my breath rolled back and forth in time with the waves, I also became acutely aware of the silence in between each crash of wave. For just a hair's breath did it occur and yet I was drawn to it. At the onset of meditation I was keenly aware of not only the waves but the sounds of laughter from nearby children playing in the water, an airplane preparing for departure off in the distance and the sound of birds. At first these sounds seemed separate and distinct, but after a while it was as if they were happening inside me, or me inside them. As if I had become one with the sound and I was no longer just me, but I was the wave, the children.

     “Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but must always participate in the swell of the ocean, so we can never experience life by ourselves, but must always share the experience of life that takes place all around us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

 This experience showed me, on a deeper level, how truly connected we are with everything around us.

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

My Journey into Hinduism

   

 For several years now I have identified myself as a believer in Sanatan Dharma. Sometimes I feel comfortable referring to myself as a Hindu, and yet other times I feel quite uncomfortable. I'll explain why shortly. Embracing the Hindu philosophy has been quite simple for me really. The moment I began reading The Upanishads something awoke inside of me. I had this incredible moment, or moments I should say, of absolute clarity that what I was reading was truth, and it made complete sense. I was giddy with excitement about it for days. I read The Upanishads every night to my husband before bed. I'll always cherish those first moments of discovery with him.
   
      As any convert to a new religion knows, I was quite overwhelmed in the beginning. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding Hinduism. My mind was flooded with the immense history and rich culture that comprises the oldest religion in the world. There were many times when I thought to myself, 'What are you doing? This is madness, you are not from India, you have nothing in common with this religion and these people!' I would put my books away for a while and go about my daily life pretending that I was not seeking anything, that I was content with my life the way it was. This would only last maybe a week or two at a time until I was once again drawn back to my spiritual seeking.

    I grew up from childhood until I was the age of 40 as a Latter Day Saint, or Mormon. My religious upbringing has had a great deal of influence on the spiritually inclined woman I am today and I am very grateful for that. Leaving the Mormon religion was not easy for me. I had grown to be quite devout and unquestioning of my faith. But over the years I had become increasingly dissatisfied with it and the self-guilt was at times unbearable. My husband, who was himself a convert to Mormonism, had already lost faith in the church philosophy long before we left, he chose not to tell me his true feelings about it as he did not want to let me down. This is all I will say about our departure from the Mormon religion since I want to focus my thoughts here on my views as a Western convert to Hinduism.

    The reason I have struggled with calling myself a Hindu is the mere fact of not quite knowing where I fit into the Hindu structure. I have never been through a formal conversion and embarrassingly enough have only attended one temple in all this time I have been studying. I live in Hawaii and the only temple that I know of on Oahu is an ISKCON temple. My husband and I had a lovely visit there, but I have not returned. Mainly, because I do not identify myself as Vaishnav. I know that there is a great deal of controversy around the ISKCON movement. Having looked into this particular sect of Hinduism, it just did not resonate with me.

    Over the years I continued to read and study. I began a meditation practice that included japa mantra. I found I enjoyed chanting immensely. Oftentimes I would come away from my practice with intense feelings of bliss that would last for several days. Although I had fully accepted Hindu philosophy, I still was unsure of what sect I should follow and would never quite commit myself to any one sect in particular. I was very drawn toward the teachings of Spiritual Masters such as Paramahansa Yogananda and Vivekananda. I think mainly for the reason that both of these men had come to the West and were adept in teaching Westerners. I felt comfortable with them as a Westerner. I have studied the full works of both of these men and love them deeply.

      Over the last year in particular, I have begun to finally narrow down my own spiritual path in Hinduism. I feel a great pull toward the Divine Feminine aspect of God. This may very well be because of having been raised in a deeply patriarchal spiritual community and culture. It has been so refreshing for me to see God as the mother aspect, such as Maa Durga and Maa Kali. Although it was strange at first, it now feels so right. Through some very unusual, rather synchronistic events over the last year I have been lead to study the teachings of Kashmiri Shaivism and it resonates with me deeply. I have decided to focus my worship on this particular sect of Hinduism.

     I am a Hindu-by-choice. I like that term. If you think of the countless people born and raised in a given religion, many of them practice half-heartedly or not at all by the time they are adults. People who seek and embrace a spiritual path on their own tend to be very devout in their practice. When something is just given to you you tend to take it for granted, but when you earn it on your own with much effort it tends to be very precious to you. I am fully convinced that I was led to the dharma. It found me. The Universe willed it. I like to think that I procured some pretty good karma to have been led to this path. I could not turn my back on it now if I tried, it would haunt me forever. I now do not see Sanatan Dharma as a particular culture or birthright. It is for all humankind. For a while I thought it was necessary for me to embrace another culture to be called Hindu, but now I know that that is wrong. I can be who I am, love my own heritage and still be a Hindu in my heart.

    I am still fine tuning my own ritual practice. I may not be following every ritual custom perfectly, but I am working on it. I study voraciously and plan to attend the Hindu Monastery Himalayan Academy on Kauai within the next year and hope to call this my home temple. I am also studying Ayurvedic medicine, while working to incorporate it into my lifestyle. I practice vegetarianism. The day I found Hinduism, was the day I opened a Pandora's Box. Life has never been the same for me. I feel in my heart that I am on a spiritual journey back home and it is only through the dharmic path of yoga that I will get there. I have had very little face to face contact with other Hindus and I greatly look forward to the day that I will have that opportunity. For the time being, I rely greatly on my online Hindu family. I have met some amazing Hindus from around the world. I hope one day to be able to travel to India, and experience that magical land. I owe so much to the great sages who have left a wealth of sacred writings for us in the modern age.

My heart belongs to Shiva,

Om Shanti,
Nirvani

   

    

Shiva's Wild Woman

(artwork: Roger Williamson Art)

Shiva's Wild Woman

I am femininity embodied,

Deity made flesh, perfection

Embedded in flaw.

Un-submissive feminist,

Freedom-fighting,

Barefoot mama on a mission

To strengthen the sisterhood of souls.

The androgynous love, pouring

From my cosmic yoni

Paints the world in supernatural perceptions.

To one I am femme fatale,

Dangerously sacrilegious, ego-stripping

Mata Hari-esque.

To another, the primordial paradox,

The unsolvable puzzle. 

To my Self, the constant

Creator and destroyer

Dancing my way 

Through the universe.

Some call me 

Shiva's wild woman.

Nirvani Teasley, 2013

http://thecosmicpoet.com/

What is a Mystic? (Caroline Myss)

  
 This is a video clip of Caroline Myss, the famed Western author of 'Sacred Contracts'. I just had to share. I read a great deal and watch many uplifting and inspiring video pieces online and often I come across something that just shakes me to the core. Well, this is one of those pieces. Caroline could not have described what makes a person a mystic and not just a spiritual seeker. I know that it is the driving force of every soul on earth to become a mystic. I am not speaking of the Ego-mind, but the SOUL to reawaken to its Divine Love. My purpose in life is to become a mystic...I may not achieve this in one lifetime, but I will do all that I can to bring me closer. Once you have tasted even a little bit of spiritual mysticism you can never go back to the ignorance of not knowing. 

Love&Light,
Nirvani

Sexual Energy is Sacred

"To act upon the whim of every thought or belief that comes to our minds, is not really the healthiest approach. People need to ask more questions if they are confused about something - even if they are sure of something they should ask too, especially if there isn’t any real proof to back it up. To take down the dark forces of the artificial matrix - we have to keep our consciousness above it, while also being willing to be pro-active in creating change on the physical level. This is an individual and personal calling and sometimes it just means mastering the world of lower forces by not being a product of their influence. 

 Psychic abilities and intuition take humility and openness with neutrality, so the minute the Ego gets involved or the emotional body and its triggers - it can keep us from the clear seeing and throw us into negative reaction. This is about Unity Consciousness and being our own personal detectives when it comes to how we sort out information, while also being willing to go on a deep inner voyage to be sure that the body, mind and spirit are all working together in harmony and that union within is achieved. This allows the clarity we long for and discernment with wisdom, which keeps us from getting stuck in projections or assumptions. Once we feel we got a grip on it, then react - but not in fear, in empowerment and recognition of our divine power to change the game. Get out of the gossip and hype whether its positive or negative and get into the TRUTH, by finding it on your own terms, with integrity. 

Sexual energy is Sacred, and it is not treated as such in our culture and this is a deep programing that doesn’t serve anyone or anything. It gets further exacerbated by new age deceptions. To allow it to lure a person in based on it triggering a lower chakra, rather than it being based on the heart or soul connection, is a form of energy vampirism and manipulation, which even if consensual, is destructive. It is encouraged in our society so it takes a lot for many to really see through it and how damaging it is for the collective and our own Awakening and soul evolution. It feeds dark occult technologies that are trying to use our vital spiritual essence against us, which connects to our kundalini and how we use this power. If we don’t allow it to flow and be guided by our higher self, it becomes thwarted and activates the lower reptilian energy that is all about conquest, domination, seduction, addiction and lower based pleasure. 

It is a free-will Universe, so do what you will, but pay attention, because this same force that we all have, has the power to transform the World and shouldn’t be blocked by the conditioning’s and social engineering of this system we live in, that doesn’t care about Mother Earth, or God/ess Sacred Union… When we connect to this raw power without interference, we become the divine embodiment of our true self. The dark forces of deception with all of its hooks that prey upon the lost, wants to step in to be the ultimate power, using all it can to break us down to the lesser self who thinks only in terms of instant gratification and Ego power. We are much better than that!"

Author Unknown

I cannot take credit for this piece and am not sure who wrote it, but came across it on Tumblr and thought it was well worth sharing. I have seen in various places on the internet and off so many young and older people alike who are in a desperate search for something. Most are oblivious to what it is that they are seeking, the soul is ALWAYS striving to find its way back to Source. The ego is tangled up in the many SAMSKARAS (life forces) that bind us from life to life, until we can untangle ourselves from them we will not be truly free. Many of these 'life forces' tend to keep us stuck in the lower chakras, most especially the Sacrel Chakra or sex chakra, not allowing us to experience the SATCHITANANDA (being, consciousness, bliss) which is the utimate destination of the soul. We become absorbed in body pleasure, which can essentially bind us. Working to 'unstick' the chakras takes a great amount of self-discipline, surrendering ego and channeling the energies of these samskaras into more healthy and productive outlets. Remember, the ego is out for its own gain, at the expense of the body and soul.

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

The Wild Heart

The Wild Heart

Effeminate one,

Equivocate no more.

Stop undermining

Your purpose.

That pretentious ego bitch

Has been stealing

Your identity.

De-domesticize the

Feline, sitting perched

And pretty, kept in

Ornate patriarchal cages.

You hold the key

Against your

Counterfeit heart.

Dig a little deeper.

The feral roots are there.

A woman's liberation

Is not found in deprivation.

The wild heart

Knows no boundaries.

Nirvani Teasley, 2013