Surrendering vs. Submitting

This morning I had one of my many moments of clarity and I thought I might try to convey it to you in a way that you can best understand my thoughts. I was thinking about how human beings have the need to submit to the desires of the flesh, whether they be sex or alcohol or any other addictive behavior. I once read somewhere that every extreme behavior is just a manifestation of the soul trying to find its way back to Source/God/Goddess/Universe/Love. The mind is incapable of understanding what we truly are beyond the body and senses; this is why the mind must be surpassed to find our true essence. The mind/ego likes to act out in its never-ending thirst for thrills.

Everything we engage in, even the most extreme unhealthy behavior is a part of our spiritual evolution, whether we are aware of it or not. When we indulge in unhealthy activities, the mind/ego is appeased for a short time, until the longing comes back and we continue to indulge due to the impossibility of permanent satisfaction. We will never find satisfaction in the behavior, and we mistake submission for surrender. Submitting is giving in to the desire and allowing the desire to take control of the body. Surrendering is letting go of the control of the mind/ego to make decisions for us and letting the intuitive heart guide our actions.

Once we become aware of what is controlling us and accept responsibility for our actions we are then in a place of real spiritual growth. Just the mere self-confession is a step forward on the path of surrendering. We can then see more clearly that everything is Shiva/God nature, including the dark and lustful passions within us. In the past, I would beat myself up for the less savory tendencies that would consume me at times, pushing them further into my psyche, repressing them for a time, until the desire became so great that I would submit to the will of the mind/ego. This would happen over and over again.

I can’t say that I have already learned to surrender completely. I would be lying to myself if I did. Surrendering to Love is no easy process. As flowery as that might sound, surrendering to Love is just another way of surrendering to the Source. The mind/ego will keep us in a constant loop until we eventually stop submitting to its will. Knowing this now, I have developed a much deeper compassion for the addictive behavior in myself and others. I am less critical of others now and have learned that part of surrendering is not just loving others, but most of all loving myself just as I am, addictions and all.

Om, Aham prema...

Nirvani

Sexual Energy is Sacred

"To act upon the whim of every thought or belief that comes to our minds, is not really the healthiest approach. People need to ask more questions if they are confused about something - even if they are sure of something they should ask too, especially if there isn’t any real proof to back it up. To take down the dark forces of the artificial matrix - we have to keep our consciousness above it, while also being willing to be pro-active in creating change on the physical level. This is an individual and personal calling and sometimes it just means mastering the world of lower forces by not being a product of their influence. 

 Psychic abilities and intuition take humility and openness with neutrality, so the minute the Ego gets involved or the emotional body and its triggers - it can keep us from the clear seeing and throw us into negative reaction. This is about Unity Consciousness and being our own personal detectives when it comes to how we sort out information, while also being willing to go on a deep inner voyage to be sure that the body, mind and spirit are all working together in harmony and that union within is achieved. This allows the clarity we long for and discernment with wisdom, which keeps us from getting stuck in projections or assumptions. Once we feel we got a grip on it, then react - but not in fear, in empowerment and recognition of our divine power to change the game. Get out of the gossip and hype whether its positive or negative and get into the TRUTH, by finding it on your own terms, with integrity. 

Sexual energy is Sacred, and it is not treated as such in our culture and this is a deep programing that doesn’t serve anyone or anything. It gets further exacerbated by new age deceptions. To allow it to lure a person in based on it triggering a lower chakra, rather than it being based on the heart or soul connection, is a form of energy vampirism and manipulation, which even if consensual, is destructive. It is encouraged in our society so it takes a lot for many to really see through it and how damaging it is for the collective and our own Awakening and soul evolution. It feeds dark occult technologies that are trying to use our vital spiritual essence against us, which connects to our kundalini and how we use this power. If we don’t allow it to flow and be guided by our higher self, it becomes thwarted and activates the lower reptilian energy that is all about conquest, domination, seduction, addiction and lower based pleasure. 

It is a free-will Universe, so do what you will, but pay attention, because this same force that we all have, has the power to transform the World and shouldn’t be blocked by the conditioning’s and social engineering of this system we live in, that doesn’t care about Mother Earth, or God/ess Sacred Union… When we connect to this raw power without interference, we become the divine embodiment of our true self. The dark forces of deception with all of its hooks that prey upon the lost, wants to step in to be the ultimate power, using all it can to break us down to the lesser self who thinks only in terms of instant gratification and Ego power. We are much better than that!"

Author Unknown

I cannot take credit for this piece and am not sure who wrote it, but came across it on Tumblr and thought it was well worth sharing. I have seen in various places on the internet and off so many young and older people alike who are in a desperate search for something. Most are oblivious to what it is that they are seeking, the soul is ALWAYS striving to find its way back to Source. The ego is tangled up in the many SAMSKARAS (life forces) that bind us from life to life, until we can untangle ourselves from them we will not be truly free. Many of these 'life forces' tend to keep us stuck in the lower chakras, most especially the Sacrel Chakra or sex chakra, not allowing us to experience the SATCHITANANDA (being, consciousness, bliss) which is the utimate destination of the soul. We become absorbed in body pleasure, which can essentially bind us. Working to 'unstick' the chakras takes a great amount of self-discipline, surrendering ego and channeling the energies of these samskaras into more healthy and productive outlets. Remember, the ego is out for its own gain, at the expense of the body and soul.

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Child's Play

Child's Play

Ascending into Heaven’s arms

Shadows bend and darkness never harms

The void, where nothingness is bliss

Dominate mind ceases to exist

Riding upon the primordial planes

Silence constrains and awareness reigns

Rebirth of the transcendent soul

No longer under ego’s control

Dissolving into supernal happiness

No sin to confess, no law to transgress

Comfort in this skin, nothing to adjust

Surrendering Self to absolute trust

Absorbing love in recesses of heart

The place where passion starts and will depart

Submit will, give entirety of existence away

Bliss is found in child’s play

Jennifer Adams Teasley ©2013

She is a Goddess

~ Artist Rafael Espitia Perea

‎"A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic. She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence. She has power and softness at the same time. She has powerful sexual energy that’s not dependent on physical looks. She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortably lives and moves in it. She cherishes beauty, light and love. She is a mother to all children. She flows with life in effortless grace. She can heal with a look or a touch of the hand. She is fiercely sensual and fearlessly erotic and engages in sex as her way to share with another in touching the divine. She is compassion and wisdom. She is seeker of Truth and cares deeply about something bigger than herself. She is a woman who knows that her purpose in life is to reach higher and rule with love. She is woman in love with love. She knows that joy is her destiny and by embracing it and sharing it with others, wounds are healed. She is a woman who has come to know that her partner is as tender, lost, and frightened as she has been at times. She has come to understand the scars of the boy in him and knows that together, love can be the relief, the healing of their wounds. She is a woman who can accept herself as she is. She can accept another as they are. She is able to forgive her mistakes and not feel threatened by another’s even when attacked. She is a woman who can ask for help when she needs it or give help when asked. She respects boundaries, hers and another’s. She can see God in another’s eyes. She can see God in her own. She can see God in every life situation. She is woman who takes responsibility for everything she creates in her life. She is a woman who is totally supportive and giving. She is a Goddess."

(Courtesy: Conscious Connections Now )

Sri Maa

The whole and part together make up real Perfection. 

~ Sri Anandamayi Ma

Life is the Practice

   
   
I was just having a conversation with my daughter on the phone. We were talking about spiritual practice. She was telling me how she needs to start back to church. I shared with her my own feelings about this subject. A spiritual teacher that I follow, Shambhavi Saraswati, a Tantrika in the Kashmiri Shaivism tradition, gave a wonderful satsang on how everything in life is a spiritual practice, from doing dishes to sitting in meditation. We tend to forget that everything we do is devotion to God, to our true Self. The key is remembering. Being present in every moment. When my heart is open I see the synchronicity in many things. Nothing is coincidental. Even the most mundane activities can teach us if we are aware. Life is so simple, we complicate it. We cause so much of our own suffering.

Letting go of always striving for something is the key to real inner piece. I am learning to be more gentle with myself and letting go of guilt is like unloading an elephant from off my back. It is healthy to have regret, it is unhealthy to harbor guilt. Shambhavi says that simple consistent ritual in life has such lasting results. On the spiritual path, it is best to take baby steps and we will find in time our steps will get bigger and bigger. Remember, life is the practice. Approach everything you engage in with reverence. From washing dishes to performing japa.

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

Seeker (ghazal)

Seeker (ghazal)

I seek night and day, for just a glimpse of that bliss,

To refresh my depleted soul, to end its weariness with that bliss.

I call near and far, with only echoes for my friends.

My spirit mellows, fatigued of unconsciousness of that bliss.

I shed tears, hollowed out spheres wanting to be filled with what?

It evades me, time and again, the insatiable kiss of that bliss.

I touched its flighty wings once and screamed ecstatic silence.

I fell delirious into its open arms and still I was dismissed by that bliss.

To have tasted of the rapture, but never keep is Jennifer's madness.

And in death, with only a whisper on lips of the awareness of that bliss.

Jennifer Adams Teasley©2013

The Cosmic Poet

Becoming

Becoming

Love is an ocean without bounds.

What river does not empty into this sea?

Despite obstacles barring the heart,

surrender comes ’round eventually.

The soul, like a river, flows

into the limitless ocean of bliss,

becomes one with the ocean

then Love becomes This.

Jennifer Adams Teasley

©2013

Alphabet Mantra

Alphabet Mantra

Like the all in the oneness,

Like the branch and the vine

Like the call and the answer

Like the drink and the wine

Like the earth and the heavens

Like the forest and trees

Like the gate and the pathway

Like the hawk and the breeze

Like the iris and petals

Like the jewel and the mine

Like the known and the knowing

Like the laugh and the line

Like moonlight and darkness

Like nowhere and near

Like the oak and the acorn

Like pain and the tear

Like the quest and the seeker

Like rain and the flower

Like the sea and the islands

Like time and the hour

Like union and yearning

Like the vision and view

Like waves and the water

So I am to you.

So I am to you, Love

And you are to me

We dwell in each other

Like salt in the sea.

O alleluia, o alleluia

O alleluia, o alleluia.

©2001 Jan Phillips

An old friend made this video a while back and I listen to it now and again...It is a beautiful song and the imagery just adds to the beauty. We are all interconnected. Isn't that amazing to ponder?....Enjoy!

Jai Ma!

Nirvani

Habits

Habits

Karmic echoes 

spread wide like arms

on a limitless ocean,

fragments of lives

lived, another time

other places,

 firmly embossed on

souls in need of

catharsis, to

remain, till

these bents

no longer

bind 

Jennifer Adams Teasley 

©2013

    I've been thinking a great deal lately about habist, how they become so ingrained in us like deep roots taking hold so firmly they become entrenched and almost immovable. I have many of those kinds of habits...from outward daily routines to deepest thought processes. I realize that the older I get the more difficult it is to break habits, that bind me down like lead weights, making me feel almost helpless to overcome them. It has only been through very intense consistent sadhana that I can even begin to touch them. Japa mantra has a cleansing effect like nothing else, but I still struggle to make chanting a habit, because of the habit of not being consistent...It can be quite frustrating. I do understand though, that my soul is forever trying to find its way back to its Source and so I continue the uphill battle, and though it hurts, the pain constantly brings more awareness.

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Am I Love?

Do I feel deeply a sincere love for all beings around me,
or am I making some kind of drama of love to confuse others? 
Do I live the life of actual love or do I make a show of love
and use the word love like a professional, an expert, to win the                      friendship and favor of others?
Do I have love or am I love?
Am I alive or am I life?
Am I conscious or am I consciousness?
Am I blissful or am I bliss?
Am I searching for ultimate reality or am I ultimate reality?

Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati


I was listening to a podcast this morning from Manorama, who teaches Sanskrit and Yoga Studies and she spoke these words from her Guruji and it struck me with great force. I wrote them down and read them over and over again. I actually felt overwhelmed by tears. Frankly, these are questions I had not directly thought of and applied to my life. I have decided to make these words my motto for the 2013 year and will place them where I can see them  and will ask myself these questions every day of this year. These are questions that we should all ponder and reflect upon as we meditate each day. It is not enough to speak of love, we must be love....I know very few human beings in my life who actually live as if they are love itself, including myself. This is my New Year's resolution, to strive everyday to become Love, what I am.

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

My Kismet

John William Waterhouse

My Kismet

‘Oh what webs we weave’

Iconic words of yesteryear come to mind

Only to realize that it is I who have been deceived

Unwittingly, self-contriving my own destiny

Left me spinning in a loop of unending pain

Mixed with joy and a tad bit of bliss

A karmic cocktail imprinted on my consciousness

The causatum of thought and action

Runs deeper than my mere puny grasping intelligence

My kismet ascertained

Or so it would seem, until my soul whispered to me

‘Find your true Self and get off this train

Of perpetual death and rebirth

For you are but a drop in the ocean of Source’

And so began my journey of Self-Realization

Jennifer Adams Teasley ©2012

Mother Moon...

Luis Ricardo Falero, Moon Nymph

Mother Moon


Oh Mother Moon, who guides this inner world,
you are my secret dream, my hidden inmost need,
obscured by the outer facade
that keeps me shroud in deception. 
You are the gatekeeper
of the nethermost regions of my soul.

Internal sanctums of consciousness,
Oh Luna, are your garden for my inner child. 
Vulnerable, exposed, 
when your luminous light shines upon me. 
I am naked,
conflicted with my exoteric nature. 

Oh Selene, beautiful winged goddess!
You ride upon the intuitive waters
of my psyche,
expanding my resilience on golden wing,
clipped, I  am mercurial, 
quicksilver, changing from moment to moment.

Sentimental fool, you take me for,
immersing me in a pool of nostalgia
only to rebirth the past,
again and again.
You slumber in the dark abyss
of my imagination, laying in wait
to reveal my aesthetic beauty. 

Mother Moon, arcane enchantress,
animating the rhythmic 
ebb and flow of all life,
waxing maiden, waning crone,
wandering through my clandestine realms,
bending me to my knees, your lesson
in wholeness unravels me.
You speak of 'new beginnings', forcing 
me to bury old wounds in the
graveyard of my heart, where you stand
as guardian of my authentic Self.


Jennifer Adams Teasley © 2012

The Cosmic Poet

    I have become an avid poet and will be sharing some of my works on this blog, but if you want to follow my poetry blog I would be happy to have you:) For a long time I have struggled with expressing myself to the outside world. It is not that I am not open to others, per say, more that my outer expression does a poor job of relating my inmost feelings. Poetry has opened up a whole new world for me. Most all of my poetry expresses some aspect of myself, such as the poem above. My astrological birthchart has indicated my difficulty of reconciling my inner and outer worlds together. I think most see me as one thing on the outside surface, but confuse that with what I really am deep inside. I am so thankful to have discovered this new found love of the written word in the form of poetry. I will also be trying my hand at some prose as well:)
     I greatly appreciate those who take the time to read my words. Most of us have a deep need to share ourselves with the others in some form or another. To make a difference in someone's life. There are so many ways to express ourselves, the arts is just one way. I think the greatest  is when we serves others, with no ulterior motive, just the simple joy of giving. This is what Karma yoga is all about.
     I hope that through my poetry I may be able to touch some heart, as other's poetry has touched mine. This poem above is part of a series of astrological poems I am creating. Astrology is another huge passion of mine. I am studying it and hope to become at least an amateur astrologer one day. As of yet, I have only studied Western astrology, but would love to learn Vedic (jyotish) astrology as well. I have enjoyed mingling astrology with poetry:)


Jai Maa,
Nirvani