Path of a Modern Tantrika

Path of a Modern Tantrika

• Cultivating permanent inner silence through deep meditation. 
• Opening the subtle nerves through pranayama (breath control). 
• Stimulating divine energy through advanced physical postures and maneuvers. 
• Cultivating divine desire and conduct. 
• Cultivating sexual energy to a new purpose. 
• Cultivating silent inner awareness outward in powerful ways.

So much has occurred since moving to Virginia. It has been quite a ride to say the least. I have ventured down many a spiritual path, looking for what speaks to soul. A spiritual teacher once told me, "Nirvani, you are a spiritual seeker, not a pilgrim." This cut me deeply, it revealed to me much that I had struggled to face in myself. I am always seeking, but too afraid to embrace. So after many hours, weeks, and months of research and soul search, I eventually came back to that which spoke to me from the beginning. Tantra.

I will be sharing my practices and experiences here with you. Above is a sort of spiritual mission statement for my life. Tantra really is more of a spiritual technology that can be adapted to any spiritual path. I refer to myself as a Tantrika as I am a practitioner of Tantra and a devotee of Shakti. The Tantric tradition embodies everything in the Universe as Sacred, as Pure Consciousness. The material cannot be ignored. The physical and the spiritual are connected in all ways. I hope to share even a little bit of wisdom here to help inspire others to seek spiritual well being. 

Om Shanti and Jai Maa!

Nirvani

Wisdom of the Guru

Journey of the Heart: An Anthology of Spiritual Poetry by Women Release Date!

Journey of The Heart: An Anthology of Spiritual Poetry by Women, edited by Catherine Ghosh and to be published this summer by Balboa Press, a division of Hay House, has woven together the voices of over 70 women of diverse ethnicities, nationalities and traditions. In meditative and insightful poems they offer us revealing glimpses of their sensitive souls engaged in meaningful dialogue with the world, others, themselves and divinity.

This spiritual poetry draws from the timeless wisdom, power and beauty residing deeply within the hearts of all women. Emerging within archetypal themes that deliver valuable messages, the inspiring and uninhibited chorus of voices beckons us to journey along with them into the wild, mysterious and uncharted territory of a woman’s heart.

This book emerged from an online project created by Catherine Ghosh, dedicated to encouraging and facilitating women to freely share their hearts, as they learned to express themselves through poetry. It is dedicated to the spirit of really listening to, and honoring, all women’s voices.

Journey of the Heart

So thrilled to announce the arrival of this beautiful anthology of women's spiritual poetry, of which I am proud and honored to be a part of, along with a group of amazing and beautifully talented women from all over the world! Official release date: August 10th

Below is the book trailer just released:

Om shanti shanti shanti,

Nirvani

Bija Mantras (Hrim)

     

     After Om and Aim, Hrim (pronounced 'hreem') is probably the most commonly used bija mantra. It is composed of the sound-Ha, which indicates prana, space and light, with the sound-Ra, which indicates fire, light and dharma, and the sound-I, which indicates energy, focus and motivation.

     Hrim is the prime mantra of the Goddess in all of her three main powers of creation, preservation and destruction, and so is the main Shakti mantra, with a more specific application than Aim. It is said to be the Shakti bija and to be equivalent to Om for the Goddess. More specifically, it relates to Parvati or Shakti, the consort of Shiva, who is the destroyer/transformer among the trinity of deities.

     Hrim is a mantra of magical force, captivation and empowerment. It can be used relative to any deity or object whose presence we wish to access at the level of the heart. It brings about joy, ecstasy and bliss. Hrim both purifies and exalts us in our inner quest, humbling us before the Divine power so that it can enter into our hearts.

     Hrim is a specific mantra for the heart (hridaya in Sanskrit) on all levels, whether the spiritual heart, the heart chakra, the emotional heart or the heart as a physical organ. It energizes the heart, provides warmth, and allows for both deep feeling and deep thought.

     In terms of Ayurveda, Hrim can be used to counter heart disease of all types, aiding in longevity and rejuvenation. More specifically, it helps promote the pranic and functional aspects of the heart with it the power of circulation of the blood, the lungs and the nervous system. It has generally Pitta (fiery) energy but some Vata (air) energy as well, stimulating the higher pranas and emotions. In terms of Vedic astrology, Hrim relates to the Sun, the planet of the heart, and helps promote solar energy, expression and charisma.

     Hrim is usually a soft mantra but can also be harsh. As a soft mantra, it increases the finer energies of the heart. As a harsh mantra, it can be used to hypnotize or captivate, to dissolve or carry away.



~Dr. David Frawley
Mantra Yoga and Primal Sound
(Secrets of Seed Bija Mantras)

Checking in....

O Divine Mother, I Am Thine,

For Thou Art Eternally Mine

     I lay garlands of my devotion, strung with many-hued flowers 

of lofty inspiration, at Thy lotus feet.

     I beheld Thee dancing in the twinkling stars. I glimpsed Thy

scintillating magic in the aurora borealis. I heard the dance of

Thy beating feet in crashing ocean waves as they rushed toward

earth's shores. I marveled at Thy leaps and pirouettes portraying,

on the great stage of time, evolution's fantastic upward sweep. And

I thrill to see, everywhere, excitement and activity in Thy great

drama of all life.

     Alas, Divine Mother! I have yet to behold Thy bliss-faced

 peeping from behind what I now know to be only veils! The thick

clouds of outward appearances are offset by little, teasing hints of

Thy smile, reflected in my breeze-rippled, flickering thoughts.

     How long I have yearned to behold Thee! My yearning burns

with a million tongues of flame. They leap high, and light the vast

firmament of my consciousness. The force that holds together the 

planets binds together also into a heavy ball the burden of my 

self-recognition, holding me to earth. Yet the twinkling stars of my

soul-aspiration spin high overhead, and form a mighty whirlwind

which draws me upward. Their light beams down upon me, 

banishing my shadows of ignorance and dissolving, one by one, all

the crusted limitations that cover my soul. Light transforms the gray

pebbles of my desires into shining crystals reflecting Thy joy.

     By my light of concentrated aspiration, all falseness has been

consumed. Ah, but, Divine Mother, where art Thou? A great void

around me mocked my very yearning.

     "Why?" I asked. And my tears fell--dewdrops of shining light 

from my firmament above. Then at last Thy sweet voice came, 

tender with compassion; I heard Thee say: "Thy very light by which

thou seekest Me is, already, Myself! Thou hast sought Me else-

where than in thyself; yet I am thou! Thou art I! There can never

be aught but thine own Self. I come to thee through thyself.

Worship me as separate, if you like, but know who I am: thy very

own Self! O eternally beloved child, we are one!"

     Mother, how can I thank Thee! I will ever be Thine, for Thou

art eternally mine. Still, I love to behold Thee through my window

of self-understanding as if dancing outside me also; to see Thee

smiling with tantalizing sweetness! Yet I know the dance takes 

place, in truth, only here in my heart. 

~Paramahansa Yogananda


    So sorry I have not been around these last few months. Family concerns and various health issues and, well, life in general has keep me very busy as of late. I hope to be blogging more often as I miss it greatly:) I hope all is well for my fellow kindred spirits out there. Goddess Bless Always!

Jai Maa,
Nirvani

You are Goddess

I just love this quote from Osho! Every woman is a Goddess whether she believes herself to be or not. No two women are alike. We are all different and unique in our own beautiful way. Many of you have still to tap into the amazing Divine potential within. Yes you have divine potential. You are like the budding rose waiting to blossom or the lotus waiting to flower into a thousand petals. Like a flower that has yet to open you have many layers to yourself that are hidden. Part of your divine mission in life is to open yourself completely to all that life has in store for you. Stop doubting yourself, and surrender.

It does not matter how old you are, it is never too late to discover your true nature. The key to discovery is learning to love yourself first, without validation from another human being. No one need validate what already exists within you. You are Goddess!

Look at yourself in the mirror every single day, several times a day, and repeat, “I am Goddess! I am love!” I chant a sanskrit mantra every single day ‘aham prema’ I am Divine Love! Say it, believe it!

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Letting Go...

   

Today, I am really struggling to keep myself together. My youngest son Benjamin, who has always been my baby boy is leaving home next Thursday for good. He will be heading to Navy Basic Training where he will follow in his father's footsteps. On one side, I am so very proud of him and excited for all the new changes that are taking place for him, but on the other side I am truly struggling with letting him go. I know that I have no choice in the matter and even if I did would I stand in the way of my own child's progress just to ease my own suffering? Resoundingly no! Every mother must face these bittersweet moments and I am no different.
   
  Deep in my heart, I know this is just as much a growing experience for me as it is for him. Change is the guiding factor in this thing called life. It is the catalyst for all spiritual growth. If everything stayed the same there would be no challenge and thus we would all become stagnant. I must now cut the apron strings, and allow my son to spread his wings and fly...yes he may hit some turbulence along the way, but the moments of struggle will be what molds and shapes him into the man he is meant to become.
   
 As his mother I will send him out into the world with a Mother's blessing and my tears upon his cheek...for it is through those tears that he will always find his way back home and will never doubt that he is loved. May the Goddess bless his every step along the way and may she bless me to endure the pain of letting go.


Om shanti shanti shanti,
Nirvani

Surrendering vs. Submitting

This morning I had one of my many moments of clarity and I thought I might try to convey it to you in a way that you can best understand my thoughts. I was thinking about how human beings have the need to submit to the desires of the flesh, whether they be sex or alcohol or any other addictive behavior. I once read somewhere that every extreme behavior is just a manifestation of the soul trying to find its way back to Source/God/Goddess/Universe/Love. The mind is incapable of understanding what we truly are beyond the body and senses; this is why the mind must be surpassed to find our true essence. The mind/ego likes to act out in its never-ending thirst for thrills.

Everything we engage in, even the most extreme unhealthy behavior is a part of our spiritual evolution, whether we are aware of it or not. When we indulge in unhealthy activities, the mind/ego is appeased for a short time, until the longing comes back and we continue to indulge due to the impossibility of permanent satisfaction. We will never find satisfaction in the behavior, and we mistake submission for surrender. Submitting is giving in to the desire and allowing the desire to take control of the body. Surrendering is letting go of the control of the mind/ego to make decisions for us and letting the intuitive heart guide our actions.

Once we become aware of what is controlling us and accept responsibility for our actions we are then in a place of real spiritual growth. Just the mere self-confession is a step forward on the path of surrendering. We can then see more clearly that everything is Shiva/God nature, including the dark and lustful passions within us. In the past, I would beat myself up for the less savory tendencies that would consume me at times, pushing them further into my psyche, repressing them for a time, until the desire became so great that I would submit to the will of the mind/ego. This would happen over and over again.

I can’t say that I have already learned to surrender completely. I would be lying to myself if I did. Surrendering to Love is no easy process. As flowery as that might sound, surrendering to Love is just another way of surrendering to the Source. The mind/ego will keep us in a constant loop until we eventually stop submitting to its will. Knowing this now, I have developed a much deeper compassion for the addictive behavior in myself and others. I am less critical of others now and have learned that part of surrendering is not just loving others, but most of all loving myself just as I am, addictions and all.

Om, Aham prema...

Nirvani

My Journey into Hinduism

   

 For several years now I have identified myself as a believer in Sanatan Dharma. Sometimes I feel comfortable referring to myself as a Hindu, and yet other times I feel quite uncomfortable. I'll explain why shortly. Embracing the Hindu philosophy has been quite simple for me really. The moment I began reading The Upanishads something awoke inside of me. I had this incredible moment, or moments I should say, of absolute clarity that what I was reading was truth, and it made complete sense. I was giddy with excitement about it for days. I read The Upanishads every night to my husband before bed. I'll always cherish those first moments of discovery with him.
   
      As any convert to a new religion knows, I was quite overwhelmed in the beginning. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding Hinduism. My mind was flooded with the immense history and rich culture that comprises the oldest religion in the world. There were many times when I thought to myself, 'What are you doing? This is madness, you are not from India, you have nothing in common with this religion and these people!' I would put my books away for a while and go about my daily life pretending that I was not seeking anything, that I was content with my life the way it was. This would only last maybe a week or two at a time until I was once again drawn back to my spiritual seeking.

    I grew up from childhood until I was the age of 40 as a Latter Day Saint, or Mormon. My religious upbringing has had a great deal of influence on the spiritually inclined woman I am today and I am very grateful for that. Leaving the Mormon religion was not easy for me. I had grown to be quite devout and unquestioning of my faith. But over the years I had become increasingly dissatisfied with it and the self-guilt was at times unbearable. My husband, who was himself a convert to Mormonism, had already lost faith in the church philosophy long before we left, he chose not to tell me his true feelings about it as he did not want to let me down. This is all I will say about our departure from the Mormon religion since I want to focus my thoughts here on my views as a Western convert to Hinduism.

    The reason I have struggled with calling myself a Hindu is the mere fact of not quite knowing where I fit into the Hindu structure. I have never been through a formal conversion and embarrassingly enough have only attended one temple in all this time I have been studying. I live in Hawaii and the only temple that I know of on Oahu is an ISKCON temple. My husband and I had a lovely visit there, but I have not returned. Mainly, because I do not identify myself as Vaishnav. I know that there is a great deal of controversy around the ISKCON movement. Having looked into this particular sect of Hinduism, it just did not resonate with me.

    Over the years I continued to read and study. I began a meditation practice that included japa mantra. I found I enjoyed chanting immensely. Oftentimes I would come away from my practice with intense feelings of bliss that would last for several days. Although I had fully accepted Hindu philosophy, I still was unsure of what sect I should follow and would never quite commit myself to any one sect in particular. I was very drawn toward the teachings of Spiritual Masters such as Paramahansa Yogananda and Vivekananda. I think mainly for the reason that both of these men had come to the West and were adept in teaching Westerners. I felt comfortable with them as a Westerner. I have studied the full works of both of these men and love them deeply.

      Over the last year in particular, I have begun to finally narrow down my own spiritual path in Hinduism. I feel a great pull toward the Divine Feminine aspect of God. This may very well be because of having been raised in a deeply patriarchal spiritual community and culture. It has been so refreshing for me to see God as the mother aspect, such as Maa Durga and Maa Kali. Although it was strange at first, it now feels so right. Through some very unusual, rather synchronistic events over the last year I have been lead to study the teachings of Kashmiri Shaivism and it resonates with me deeply. I have decided to focus my worship on this particular sect of Hinduism.

     I am a Hindu-by-choice. I like that term. If you think of the countless people born and raised in a given religion, many of them practice half-heartedly or not at all by the time they are adults. People who seek and embrace a spiritual path on their own tend to be very devout in their practice. When something is just given to you you tend to take it for granted, but when you earn it on your own with much effort it tends to be very precious to you. I am fully convinced that I was led to the dharma. It found me. The Universe willed it. I like to think that I procured some pretty good karma to have been led to this path. I could not turn my back on it now if I tried, it would haunt me forever. I now do not see Sanatan Dharma as a particular culture or birthright. It is for all humankind. For a while I thought it was necessary for me to embrace another culture to be called Hindu, but now I know that that is wrong. I can be who I am, love my own heritage and still be a Hindu in my heart.

    I am still fine tuning my own ritual practice. I may not be following every ritual custom perfectly, but I am working on it. I study voraciously and plan to attend the Hindu Monastery Himalayan Academy on Kauai within the next year and hope to call this my home temple. I am also studying Ayurvedic medicine, while working to incorporate it into my lifestyle. I practice vegetarianism. The day I found Hinduism, was the day I opened a Pandora's Box. Life has never been the same for me. I feel in my heart that I am on a spiritual journey back home and it is only through the dharmic path of yoga that I will get there. I have had very little face to face contact with other Hindus and I greatly look forward to the day that I will have that opportunity. For the time being, I rely greatly on my online Hindu family. I have met some amazing Hindus from around the world. I hope one day to be able to travel to India, and experience that magical land. I owe so much to the great sages who have left a wealth of sacred writings for us in the modern age.

My heart belongs to Shiva,

Om Shanti,
Nirvani

   

    

Shiva's Wild Woman

(artwork: Roger Williamson Art)

Shiva's Wild Woman

I am femininity embodied,

Deity made flesh, perfection

Embedded in flaw.

Un-submissive feminist,

Freedom-fighting,

Barefoot mama on a mission

To strengthen the sisterhood of souls.

The androgynous love, pouring

From my cosmic yoni

Paints the world in supernatural perceptions.

To one I am femme fatale,

Dangerously sacrilegious, ego-stripping

Mata Hari-esque.

To another, the primordial paradox,

The unsolvable puzzle. 

To my Self, the constant

Creator and destroyer

Dancing my way 

Through the universe.

Some call me 

Shiva's wild woman.

Nirvani Teasley, 2013

http://thecosmicpoet.com/

Sexual Energy is Sacred

"To act upon the whim of every thought or belief that comes to our minds, is not really the healthiest approach. People need to ask more questions if they are confused about something - even if they are sure of something they should ask too, especially if there isn’t any real proof to back it up. To take down the dark forces of the artificial matrix - we have to keep our consciousness above it, while also being willing to be pro-active in creating change on the physical level. This is an individual and personal calling and sometimes it just means mastering the world of lower forces by not being a product of their influence. 

 Psychic abilities and intuition take humility and openness with neutrality, so the minute the Ego gets involved or the emotional body and its triggers - it can keep us from the clear seeing and throw us into negative reaction. This is about Unity Consciousness and being our own personal detectives when it comes to how we sort out information, while also being willing to go on a deep inner voyage to be sure that the body, mind and spirit are all working together in harmony and that union within is achieved. This allows the clarity we long for and discernment with wisdom, which keeps us from getting stuck in projections or assumptions. Once we feel we got a grip on it, then react - but not in fear, in empowerment and recognition of our divine power to change the game. Get out of the gossip and hype whether its positive or negative and get into the TRUTH, by finding it on your own terms, with integrity. 

Sexual energy is Sacred, and it is not treated as such in our culture and this is a deep programing that doesn’t serve anyone or anything. It gets further exacerbated by new age deceptions. To allow it to lure a person in based on it triggering a lower chakra, rather than it being based on the heart or soul connection, is a form of energy vampirism and manipulation, which even if consensual, is destructive. It is encouraged in our society so it takes a lot for many to really see through it and how damaging it is for the collective and our own Awakening and soul evolution. It feeds dark occult technologies that are trying to use our vital spiritual essence against us, which connects to our kundalini and how we use this power. If we don’t allow it to flow and be guided by our higher self, it becomes thwarted and activates the lower reptilian energy that is all about conquest, domination, seduction, addiction and lower based pleasure. 

It is a free-will Universe, so do what you will, but pay attention, because this same force that we all have, has the power to transform the World and shouldn’t be blocked by the conditioning’s and social engineering of this system we live in, that doesn’t care about Mother Earth, or God/ess Sacred Union… When we connect to this raw power without interference, we become the divine embodiment of our true self. The dark forces of deception with all of its hooks that prey upon the lost, wants to step in to be the ultimate power, using all it can to break us down to the lesser self who thinks only in terms of instant gratification and Ego power. We are much better than that!"

Author Unknown

I cannot take credit for this piece and am not sure who wrote it, but came across it on Tumblr and thought it was well worth sharing. I have seen in various places on the internet and off so many young and older people alike who are in a desperate search for something. Most are oblivious to what it is that they are seeking, the soul is ALWAYS striving to find its way back to Source. The ego is tangled up in the many SAMSKARAS (life forces) that bind us from life to life, until we can untangle ourselves from them we will not be truly free. Many of these 'life forces' tend to keep us stuck in the lower chakras, most especially the Sacrel Chakra or sex chakra, not allowing us to experience the SATCHITANANDA (being, consciousness, bliss) which is the utimate destination of the soul. We become absorbed in body pleasure, which can essentially bind us. Working to 'unstick' the chakras takes a great amount of self-discipline, surrendering ego and channeling the energies of these samskaras into more healthy and productive outlets. Remember, the ego is out for its own gain, at the expense of the body and soul.

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

The Belly Dance

Dance of Ecstasy

Body in motion

Transcends time.

This wild woman syndrome

Takes hold

And sheds away

Pious parameters.

Sanctimoniousness

Falls down

Around my swaying figure

Like the shedding

Of snake skin.

I shake it off with

Gyrating hips

And quivering breasts.

Jangling of golden coin

At waist, vibrates

To the frequency

Of the Universe.

Spirit recognizes

The uncivilized call

Of the feminine.

Unconscious prakriti,

The primal force

Comes out

To play.

Animating its unrefined,

Yet refined drama

Through my spine,

Awakening

What lay dormant

At the base.

The dance

Of ecstasy

Begins.

~Nirvani Teasley

   

  About a month ago I took up belly dancing. I have always loved to dance and have enjoyed watching other women belly dance...It is quite mesmerizing. So I decided I would give it a try. I started with the Goddess Belly Dance workout by Dolphina (you can find her via google). I do it every day for 50 minutes. It is an amazing cardio workout, and I have also been using her Introduction to Belly Dance dvd, which has helped me immensely in learning  the various moves. I cannot express enough how incredibly liberating belly dancing makes me feel. I feel more empowered as a woman, and sexier too! Since starting, the dance has inspired my muse in poetry. It is hard to express how I feel while dancing...poetry is my chosen way of expressing something I feel deeply about in my soul. Dancing is just another way that the human spirit expresses itself in nature. It is a way that every woman can connect with her shakti...Dancing makes me feel like a Goddess!

Jai Maa,

Nirvani

Tribute to Earth Day

Walk Naked

Walk naked

And feel the feathery

Green fingers

Of fresh Spring grass

Tickling between bare toes,

Hypersensitive from

The suffocation of

The culture of shoes

For too long.

Let them just breathe.

Reacquaint the

Unclad foot with

Mother Earth

Again.

Walk naked

In endless fields of

Lavender dreams.

Let the scent

Intoxicate, as the

Senses remember

What they'd

Forgotten.

Lie in copious pastures,

Burgeoning with

Nature's generosity.

Her efflorescence

Yearns to cradle

Soft, exposed flesh

Against her

Earthy breast.

Listen to

Her whispers

And come

Home.

Nirvani Teasley

.